When Work Stops Being Safe: The Hidden Harm of Bullying, Unrealistic Targets, and Gaslighting
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria Understanding Neurodiversity
If you have started here the first thing I need you to know is your not alone and help is out there, this Blog is dedicated to my friend Phil who felt there was not other option and felt he couldn't stay on earth, he is truly missed but its also a lifeline to another I want them to know there is help and reasons to stay.
Work is supposed to be challenging — not damaging. Yet every year, thousands of people find themselves struggling under pressures that go far beyond normal workplace stress. Bullying, unrealistic targets, ignored reasonable adjustments, and gaslighting are not “difficult personalities” or “tough management styles.” They are recognised psychosocial risks that can seriously harm a person’s mental health.
And when these pressures build without support, people can reach breaking point. That’s why reaching out for help isn’t a sign of weakness — it’s a vital act of self‑protection.
The reality: psychosocial risks can be fatal
The International Labour Organization estimates that more than 840,000 people die every year due to work‑related psychosocial hazards, including mental‑health conditions and suicide. Bullying, harassment, job strain, and ignored adjustments all sit within this category.
This doesn’t mean bullying alone “causes” suicide — human distress is always complex. But it does mean that harmful workplace conditions increase risk, and ignoring them is not an option.
When “targets” become weapons
Targets are meant to guide performance. But unrealistic targets do something very different:
- They create constant fear of failure
- They push people into chronic stress
- They make success impossible, no matter how hard someone works
- They erode confidence and self‑worth
- They turn work into a daily reminder that you’re “not enough”
Unrealistic targets are often paired with gaslighting — being told the targets are “reasonable,” that others are coping, or that you’re “misunderstanding” expectations. Over time, this distorts a person’s sense of reality and leaves them doubting their own abilities.
The impact of ignored reasonable adjustments
For disabled and neurodivergent workers, reasonable adjustments are not optional extras — they are legal rights. When employers:
- delay adjustments
- refuse them
- minimise their importance
- or make people “prove” their needs repeatedly
the message is clear: your needs are inconvenient.
This creates a dangerous cycle:
1. The person struggles without the support they are entitled to
2. Their performance dips because the environment is inaccessible
3. They are blamed for the consequences of the employer’s inaction
4. Their confidence collapses
5. Their mental health deteriorates
This is not “poor performance.” It is harm.
The mental‑health damage
Bullying, gaslighting, and inaccessible working conditions create a psychological environment that is fundamentally unsafe. The effects are well‑documented:
- anxiety
- depression
- hypervigilance
- sleep disruption
- panic attacks
- emotional exhaustion
- isolation
- loss of identity
- suicidal thoughts
People begin to feel trapped — especially when the organisation is silent, slow, or dismissive. Many end up changing jobs not because they want to, but because staying has become unbearable.
Leaving a job to protect your mental health is not failure. It is survival.
Gaslighting: the quiet destroyer
Gaslighting is one of the most damaging behaviours in any workplace. It works by:
- denying your experiences
- rewriting events
- minimising harm
- shifting blame
- making you question your memory, perception, or reactions
Over time, gaslighting disconnects people from their own instincts. They stop trusting themselves. They stop speaking up. They stop believing they deserve better.
Gaslighting doesn’t just break confidence — it breaks people.
Why people don’t reach out
Most people experiencing workplace harm stay silent because they believe:
- “It’s not bad enough.”
- “I should be able to cope.”
- “I don’t want to be a problem.”
- “No one will believe me.”
- “Other people have it worse.”
These beliefs are understandable — but they are also dangerous. Harmful workplaces thrive on silence.
Why reaching out matters
Reaching out doesn’t fix everything overnight. But it does something essential:
It interrupts the isolation.
Talking to someone — a friend, a colleague, a GP, a therapist, or a support organisation — creates space to breathe, think, and be heard. It reminds you that:
- your experience is real
- your distress is valid
- you deserve safety
- you are not alone
Emotional Support
- Samaritans – https://www.samaritans.org
- Mind – https://www.mind.org.uk
- Shout (text support) – https://giveusashout.org
Bullying, Harassment & Workplace Discrimination
- ACAS – https://www.acas.org.uk
- Equality Advisory & Support Service (EASS) – https://www.equalityadvisoryservice.com
- Unison – https://www.unison.org.uk
- Unite the Union – https://unitetheunion.org
- GMB Union – https://www.gmb.org.uk
Disability Rights & Advocacy
- Access to Work –
https://www.gov.uk/access-to-work(gov.uk in Bing) - Disability Rights UK – https://www.disabilityrightsuk.org
- Citizens Advice –
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk(citizensadvice.org.uk in Bing) - Scope – https://www.scope.org.uk
- Fittingin.co.uk
Neurodiversity‑Affirming Support
- Autistic UK – https://autisticuk.org
- National Autistic Society – https://www.autism.org.uk
- ADHD UK – https://www.adhduk.co.uk
- ADHD Foundation (Liverpool) –
https://www.adhdfoundation.org.uk(adhdfoundation.org.uk in Bing)
