Understanding the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)
Access To Work Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria Understanding Neurodiversity
Have you ever been told you're "too sensitive"?
Perhaps you cried easily as a child, felt hurt by things that others seemed able to brush off, or became overwhelmed by busy environments. Maybe you were given nicknames that reflected this sensitivity rather than helped you understand it.
Growing up, I was called "Waterwall" and "Cry Baby." At the time, those names felt embarrassing. They reinforced the idea that there was something wrong with me because I felt things so deeply. Looking back, I can see a different story. I wasn't weak. I wasn't overreacting. I was experiencing the world through a highly sensitive nervous system.
What is a Highly Sensitive Person?
A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) is someone who processes information more deeply than average. The term was introduced by psychologist Dr Elaine Aron to describe people whose nervous systems are particularly responsive to what is happening around them.
Highly sensitive people often:
- Notice subtle changes in mood and tone
- Feel emotions deeply
- Become overwhelmed by noise, crowds, or busy environments
- Need time alone to recharge
- Have strong empathy for others
- Think deeply about experiences and decisions
- React strongly to stress and conflict
Being highly sensitive is not a disorder or a weakness. It is simply one way of experiencing the world.
When Sensitivity is Misunderstood
Many highly sensitive children grow up hearing messages such as:
- "Stop being so emotional."
- "Don't be so dramatic."
- "You're too sensitive."
- "Toughen up."
Over time, these messages can become part of how we view ourselves.
Instead of seeing sensitivity as a natural trait, we may begin to believe it is a flaw that needs fixing. We learn to hide our feelings, push ourselves beyond our limits, and compare ourselves to people who appear less affected by the world around them.
Learning Self-Forgiveness
One of the hardest parts of understanding ourselves as highly sensitive adults is letting go of years of self-criticism.
Forgiveness isn't about blaming parents, teachers, friends, or ourselves. It's about recognising that we were doing our best with the information we had at the time.
Self-forgiveness might sound like:
- "I wasn't weak. I was overwhelmed."
- "I wasn't failing. I was struggling without support."
- "I wasn't lazy. I was exhausted."
- "I wasn't difficult. My nervous system needed something different."
Many of us spend years fighting who we are. Healing often begins when we stop trying to become someone else.
Helpful Tips for Highly Sensitive People
Know Your Triggers
Start noticing situations that drain your energy.
This might include:
- Busy supermarkets
- Loud environments
- Last-minute changes
- Social events
- Conflict and confrontation
Understanding your triggers allows you to prepare for them rather than judging yourself for struggling.
Schedule Recovery Time
Highly sensitive people often need time to process experiences.
Build recovery into your routine rather than waiting until you're completely exhausted.
Reduce Sensory Overload
Simple adjustments can make a big difference:
- Noise-cancelling headphones
- Quiet spaces
- Sunglasses in bright environments
- Planned breaks during busy days
- Limiting notifications on your phone
Stop Comparing Yourself
Someone else's capacity is not a measure of your worth.
If you need more rest, more quiet, or more time to process, that doesn't mean you're doing life wrong. It means you're listening to your needs.
Practise Self-Compassion
Try speaking to yourself in the same way you would speak to a child who was overwhelmed.
Would you call that child a cry baby?
Or would you recognise that they were struggling and needed support?
A Different Way of Seeing Sensitivity
Today, when I think about the nicknames Waterwall and Cry Baby, I see them differently.
They tell a story about a child who felt deeply, cared deeply, and experienced the world intensely. That child deserved understanding, not criticism.
Whether you identify as a Highly Sensitive Person, autistic, ADHD, or simply someone who feels the world a little more intensely, sensitivity is not something to be ashamed of.
It may be one of the qualities that allows you to notice what others miss, care when others don't, and connect with people in ways that matter most.
Perhaps the goal isn't to become less sensitive.
Perhaps it's to become kinder to the sensitive person you've always been.
